First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
