just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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