this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
