Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
