Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
