she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
