I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
