My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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