can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He did a backflip because drugs
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