I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
