That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
