I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sorry my hands just texted you
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
