Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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