Your tits are I can't wait for
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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