my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
