If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
