My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
