Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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