I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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