You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
