12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
