He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
