Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
