There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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