Got a toothbrush?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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