thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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