It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
