Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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