people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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