Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
