Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
