Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
