piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
