you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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