Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
