In the future we'll all be gay
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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