STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
