girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
