you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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