so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
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