Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
