the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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