as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
