I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
