idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
