We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my being single is dangerous.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
