Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
