What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Need sex. Gaining weight.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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