But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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