She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
