bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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